truth #52

I want to know what I want. I want to know what I want to do, who I want to be, how I want to get there. It’s so frustrating not knowing, not having any idea, and then sometimes thinking you know and then realizing you still don’t know. It’s so very infuriating constantly working towards something and then arriving at the bitter realization that you aren’t even sure if you want that anymore. It’s so tiring wanting what you can’t have or don’t have or don’t know how to get. Dreams used to be the escape, and now it seems we’re trying to escape them—or at least the thought of mastering them and transforming them to reality. It used to be so good, and now it’s just so hard, always wanting that escape, and dreams, and something else, and something else and more and more and what? and this and that and you and everything and nothing, because I really just don’t know.